It's So Nice Out-Why Do I Feel Bad?

Here in the Mid-Atlantic, we have four seasons, which means more barometric pressure and seasonal flux to impact our bodies and minds. Sometimes people are surprised to learn that spring and summer are busy times for mental health practitioners. This time of year is difficult for many, and it feels counter-intuitive. The nicer weather coupled with longer days seem to instrinsically mean we don't struggle with our moods or anxiety.

In fact, the opposite is often true. At times, the opposing situation can highlight something you didn't notice originally as striking in contrast. You're reading this text on a different color as the background; a black paper isn't as noticeable on a dark table. When colors oppose one another, they become more obvious to our eyes. The same is true for our brains and how we see our moods. Perspective shifts occur when the outside world looks so wonderful: budding flowers, fuller trees, more sun, and longer days can make our low moods or buzzing anxiety feel louder and at the forefront. Everyone around us is happier, which also highlights a contrast. There is more comradery in the winter when many others (even those without a diagnosis) feel lower and more lethargic, so there is strength in numbers. We all talk about how the early darkness and cold temperatures affect our moods, whether we have a diagnosis or not. It's "normal" to be bad in the winter. When spring hits and everyone bounces upward, it can be hard for those who don't despite their best efforts.

It's also true that people with seasonal shifts to their moods will have more difficulty in the spring instead of during the winter, which seems to not fit our stereotypical idea of seasonal patterns. We're supposed to feel more depressed in winter, right? But that's not what always happens.

Unfortunately, much like the holiday season, spring and summer come with travel plans, vacations, and family outings. Individuals who don't have much family, do not have financial means to travel, or who choose not to associate with unhealthy members face this discrepancy from others around them. Social media makes it harder to escape the trips and family photos, and this again can contrast not only with a person's chemical imbalance, but lack of healthy, supportive friends and family.

If you know someone who has a diagnosis, please take this opportunity to reach out to them. Do not assume that because there is more warmth and sunshine that they are feeling better. They may be having a more difficult time and they may have a harder time saying it, so try to be sensitive to this.

Try to be patient with yourself if you are one of many who are struggling now. Take care of yourself and focus on your wellness plan, even if you have to let other less important things go a bit. Take this time as an opportunity to educate others on the stereotypes of mental health stigma, especially at this time of year. Remember to keep on going-and what they say in Delaware: If you don't like the weather, just wait a few minutes! Our brain chemistry may not change so quickly, but we can keep at our wellness and our skills.Take on your wellness, and take on your mental health.

Stylistic Differences

My husband could tell you how much I love to argue.

Arguing isn't really the right word, as it has such a negative connotation. I like to bicker, debate, dissect, and discuss. I like to hear what the other person has to say and toss it around in my head until I see something else, or collaborate on a new idea. I enjoy the "what ifs" and the "what elses" and the "maybes." Disagreeing to me means that our discussion is interesting and dynamic, and that you'll think of things that I didn't. And I like having to prove my point, if it's needed, because it means I really need to know what I'm talking about. Needless to say, I thrive on these mental challenges, and it is a huge part of the reason why I love my work.

Plain and simple: I think that two heads (yours and mine) really are better than one.

That's just part of my particular style that I bring into the office. If you're in therapy or looking to start, it's important to know your style and that of the person you're choosing. Here are some good questions to mull over and potentially ask a new provider, especially if you also enjoy a good problem-solving debate.

1. In general, how much feedback do you offer during sessions? If I have a question or decision to make, how do you see your role in that process? 

Asking this question may elicit information that you find useful. Some people look for a lot of feedback and others don't- so knowing what level of participation to expect can be very helpful for a new person. The style of feedback may vary, as some therapists are more directive than others, but it may help to find out how much discussion you can expect during an appointment.

2. How do you feel if I (as the patient) don't try the things you suggest? 

Here's the thing: you're seeking therapy because you want to change or want help with something, and so hearing new ideas are part of the deal. It will be uncomfortable at times, but change does not occur without discomfort. However, if you're feeling that the therapist is not understanding why you're not trying things, it can signal that you're either working with the wrong person, or you're not prepared to make that change in that way. Either way, it's useful information. If you feel the provider becomes defensive, irritated, or you are not feeling heard, it's time to move on. Otherwise, vocalize to the therapist that you didn't try X intervention because Y happened, and come up with alternatives. The process of solving a problem includes trying multiple options to determine the best course, and some trial and error is to be expected.

3. Be open with your side of the story, and feel free to debate if needed. 

You and your therapist are partners, and you certainly don't want to be antagonistic. However, voicing a different opinion or experience, or telling the therapist, "no, that's not it" is WELCOMED. Simply stated, we need to know if we're off the mark, or you have another point of view. Believe it or not, voicing these differences actually goes a long way in helping me get to know you and understand your personality, which will then assist me in choosing future interventions. Certain methods are not as likely to work with certain tendencies, and if I know this, we can save a lot of time. Being as open as possible helps you not only solve your immediate issue, but helps us work best together as time goes on.

YOUR sessions are YOUR time to work on the goals that YOU outline. It's not about the therapist, although I can hear the collective shudder of professionals everywhere as I write that. Argue, advocate, bicker, try things or don't try things if you like. But it's all up to you, and a good therapist will meet you where you are-even if we debate you along the way.

Take gentle care, and take on your mental health.